


Broken Trust

by Tarlan



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chakotay wonders why Tom's betrayal hurt more than Tuvok's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **MMoM** 2013 - Day 19

Chakotay was back on his feet in no time. It was one of the advantages of having a fully equipped medical bay on-board Voyager, but that didn't negate the fact that he now owed his life to Tom Paris, of all people. 

As he lay on the collapsing staircase with his leg broken, Paris had taunted him with references to the customs of Chakotay's people and he had tried to deter him with an outright lie.

"Wrong tribe."

It hadn't stopped Paris from working his way down the damaged stairway carefully, with both of them aware that it could fully collapse at any moment, if not from their combined weight then from just one more strike on the surface above them. Neither of them would survive the fall to the bottom of the shaft.

"You'd rather die than let me be the one to rescue you?"

"Fine. Be a fool," he had replied and had grasped at Paris's shoulder, letting the younger man take his weight, but just as he had lied once before about his peoples' customs, so he lied again, implying that he didn't care if Paris fell to his death with him. Despite his feelings towards Paris for his seeming betrayal of the Maquis, Chakotay still held a reverence for all life, even that of Tom Paris. It was that reverence for life that made him justify every time he ordered the phasers to fire, always exhausting all avenues for a peaceful means to end a conflict before resorting to violence. Yet he was also a warrior and knew that sometimes there was no choice; sometimes it was kill or be killed.

But the truth was that his life did belong to Paris now, and that rankled with him more than he showed. Outside he remained passive as the days turned to weeks, aware that the only way he could remove that debt was to repay it in kind. Yet the problem wasn't owing that debt. Instead it was the fierce emotions - well concealed - that dragged at him whenever he saw Paris's fair head at the helm.

As he took his seat at the conn, relieving Janeway, he let his thoughts wander as he stared at the back of Tom Paris's head. 

The Federation had renegotiated the demilitarized zone with the Cardassians. In the process they ceded several colony worlds and Chakotay's homeworld had been one of those planets that was expected to gather their few belongings and return to Federation space. Another world had been located for them but it was harsh rather than covered in lush rain forests that his people, reminding him of how his distant ancestors had been forced from their lands and placed on reservations where they could barely scratch together enough to feed themselves.

It seemed that history was doomed to repeat itself.

The Maquis had been short of pilots, so when Tom Paris approached them in a seedy bar after being thrown out of Starfleet, Chakotay had trusted the Admiral's son against his better judgment. He had vouched for Paris to another Maquis captain who was in desperate need of a pilot, even though he knew Paris had not joined the Maquis because he believed in their cause. Paris simply wanted to fly, and Chakotay hoped that this would be enough to command his loyalty. 

Paris was a born pilot with the dexterity and reflexes that even seasoned pilots envied. He was also a hot shot, and a hot-head... and when his ship came under fire on his first trip out, he handed over the Maquis ship to the Federation, allowing them to board when he should have employed every tactic to escape. That he had ended up in a Federation prison was neither here nor there as everyone had anticipated him wriggling his way out quickly by selling out the Maquis.

Despite this, Chakotay had hoped to see some loyalty from him, but he guessed Paris's allegiance to the Federation, and to his father, far outweighed that to a _bunch of rebel colonists_. Paris had jumped at Janeway's offer to release him if he helped her find the Maquis.

A glance sideways showed Tuvok manning the science station, and once more Chakotay shied away from self-analysis. Tuvok had been a member of his crew - and a Federation spy - and yet Chakotay no longer felt any animosity towards him for that betrayal. Only to Paris, and Chakotay knew that had significance.

He was relieved when his duty shift came to an end, happily handing over the conn to Janeway and making his way back to his quarters. Once there he freshened up and sank cross-legged onto the floor, having decided to eat later. As always following a shift that coincided with Paris's, he felt tense and his attempt to meditate failed at first. Eventually, though, he sank into a deeper state and opened his eyes to find his spirit guide staring back at him. Chakotay could read the judgment in those eyes and watched as his vision revealed a ghostly Tom Paris smiling at him before fading away, but it wasn't one of Paris's trade-mark smirks or glib smiles, it was soft, and full of... desire?

Chakotay blinked when he found himself back in his quarters, still cross-legged on the floor.

The image of Tom Paris still played inside his head and he pushed up to his feet, discarding his now restrictive clothing as he moved towards the bed. He looked down, already aware that his body had reacted to the desire in Tom's deep blue eyes and he tried to will the erection away, but to no avail. His subconscious mind and his body wanted what his vision quest had shown him and, for once, he was too tired to argue with himself. Lying back on the bed, he let his hand wrap around his hard cock as he brought images of Tom back to mind.

He let himself recall the strength of Tom's broad shoulders supporting him as they climbed the staircase on the Ocampa homeworld, with one strong arm wrapped around his waist. He remembered the feel of his hands, the warmth of his breath and the teasing tone in his voice as he said Chakotay's name. It was more than enough, and Chakotay cried out softly as he came.

Once he had cleaned up, he lay back down again and let his thoughts dwell on all he had seen both in his vision quest and after, and for the first time he understood why Tom's betrayal had hurt more than Tuvok's.

He was in love with Tom Paris.

END


End file.
